'Complaint from a customer'

This is a complaint from a customer who is totally fed up with your product.

The problem is essentially that the squidginess of all the cakes, the sheer utter dreaminess of the whole bloody range at Jeroboams in Elizabeth Street is so completely and utterly delicious that I cannot keep away and have become a complete addict.

How dare you do this to me. I hold your company totally to blame for my lack of self control and the overwhelming desire for the sublime Cranberry and Oatmeal Flapjack is actually keeping me awake at night.

You cruel, cruel people.

Because of this I am having to do an extra half an hour at the gym each day.

Henrietta McCausland